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I roll up to this blonde in a Mini, legs for days, hair down to her ass. She acts like I’m dirt ‘cause I’m in my old RV, but I flash some cash, and her eyes go wide. Her Russian accent makes her sound all high and mighty, but now she’s curious. She climbs in, sneering at my wall of pics from past lays – doesn’t know she’s about to be the next one. I whip out my veiny monster, and she tries to act tough, but when I push it in, she’s squirming, whining, and finally shutting up.

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Cruising the city outskirts, I spot a desperate duo—an old car, a scruffy dude, and a redhead in a skirt. Oh, and she’s pregnant. Like, real pregnant. This half-hobo dude looks ready to sell his own soul, so I make an offer. “Need a ride? Sure, but the lady’s coming in my fuckwagon.” The guy barely hesitates—clearly, he knows who’s packing the real deal here.

Turns out, she’s his daughter. A little family roadside bonding, huh? I get her to show off those ripe preggo tits for a photo session. Damn, those milkers are something else. She’s around eight months, belly huge, and I can’t help but joke about poking the little guy’s eye with my cock. The guy? He’s just sitting in the back, trying not to cry while I gear up to show her what Big Mike is all about.

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Once she saw the wads of dough I had lying around, her hesitation melted like the snow outside. She went from playing shy to sucking like her life depended on it. But I wasn't gonna let her off easy—if she wanted shelter, she had to work for it. Her tight, unshaven pussy barely took the first few inches before she started moaning like a wild beast. That cold, lonely night? Yeah, she won’t forget it anytime soon. And neither will I.

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Part 1: Chilling in my room, smoking, flipping through Dean Koontz—not because I’m trying to be edgy, but because that stuff is genuinely good. Usually, metal gets me hyped, but today, it's gonna take something even spicier to get me off. So, I grab my trusty voodoo doll, light a candle, and pray to summon a monster-dicked shemale beauty. Fuck yeah, she’s here.

Turns out, my friend hooked me up with her—a big-titted, long-haired blonde with a face pretty enough to ruin lives and a cock veiny enough to star in its own horror movie. The second I see her monster cock, I’m dripping. I don’t care if this stuff costs more than rent—I need that cock inside me, and I need it NOW.

My dad would fucking weep if he saw this beast splitting me open—damn, he’d probably be jealous. And my mom too…

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Our chemistry was instant, and things quickly got freaky. Vanilla sex? Not our style. We tried some BDSM stuff like pissing on my tits, penetrating my ass with a metal sculpture, and whatnut. You know… for me, the usual stuff. But what about you? Have you ever seen a big cock shemale to fuck a teenage girl?

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This bitch is relentless, and I’m g*gging so hard on her cock that I can barely breathe. The head slams the back of my throat, and for a minute, I’m thinking, "Is this how I end? Stifled by a shemale cock?" Honestly, I’d be okay with that. My throat’s gonna be sore for days, but I don't give a fuck. I take it, and when she’s done face-fucking me to near death, she flips me over and shoves it deep in my ass.

Prolapse? Oh yeah, baby, bring that on. I’m going to push my limits here, and that massive cock is going to make me cum harder than I ever thought possible. The kind of hardcore that makes your body remember it for days. You guys have no idea what just went down.

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It's getting really hard to keep up and test all those girflriends, fiancées and wives. I really don't have enough time to react to the hundreds of e-mails I'm getting. But, believe me, I'm trying my best! To meet with the next suicidal maniac who decided to probe the foundations of his long-term relationship, I had to travel all the way to Kamencove Lake near Chomutov. This guy named Jirka was having a great time with his girl Kristyna - a camping holiday in a cosy tent near the lake. until he decided to spice things up with a fidelity test. We agreed on the plan, Jirka left and I went to see Kristyna in their tent. She sure was a looker! A beautiful girl with big cute eyes.

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Chicks, get in! This is a ride you’ll never forget. The squirting cab is hitting the streets of Prague again. A phenomenal blondie got in! Welcome on the board, darling! Have you ever had a squirting orgasm? I have a certificate backed by dozens of happy clients. I’m Captain Squirt! And you are a stunner. Natural boobs and a delicious pussy. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll fuck you day and night. Heavenly sex with a Czech goddess. Your boyfriend could learn from me how to do it. Give me a call and I’ll come and fuck you again. Anytime. Booty calls are my specialty! The Prague cab driver will fuck any girl that gets in. You don’t get to see anything like this anywhere else! I swear!

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The sun is shining, the spring is coming and it has come to me as well. I cannot fight that, so I grabbed my camera, put some money in my pocket and set off into the streets to get some pretty girl for sex. I stopped in front of the Labor Office; the demand for easy money could be high there. Sun and luck came hand in hand. I met an amazing 20 years old girl there. She seemed to have some Asians ancestors, but she lives all her life in the Czech Republic. I offered her ride and a chance to earn some extra money. During the ride I put the cards on the table. Is she has sex with me I will pay her the unemployment grand, the whole 20 grand. You don’t refuse offer like that, especially when you are unemployed for a long time. She hesitated, but in the end agreed. Guys, I guarantee you will be shocked, because I fucked this wonderful Asian outside on the bonnet of my car!!! This is wicked!!! Check it out!!!!